The Top Five Myths about Grief
You may find that very well meaning people in your life will give you plenty of “advice” on how to grieve. There is no singular “right way” to grieve. Review the following myths and realities:
Myth #1: It takes two months to “get over” your grief.
Truth: It typically takes 2 months after the death of a loved one for the shock and numbness to subside, and for you to process the full impact of the loss. Society dictates we should move beyond our grief by the second month; but that typically just marks the beginning of the healing process.
Myth #2: It is better to put painful things out of your mind.
Truth: Avoidance is a coping skill, but serves only to temporarily delay the process. People need to feel their pain and cope with it, in order to truly begin to heal.
Myth #3: You feel scatted and out of control, so you must be.
Truth: Feeling out of sorts during grief is very normal. Your mind is trying to adjust to an unthinkable reality. Trust yourself and embrace the process of healing; but take your time.
Myth #4: The intensity and length of your grief is testimony to your love for the one you lost.
Truth: Everyone grieves differently, each in his or her own way. Give yourself permission to be who you are, even though you may not feel like yourself right now. Trust yourself and take your time. For example, just because you are someone who doesn’t cry, doesn’t mean you don’t deeply miss and mourn the person who died.
Myth #5: My family and friends will always be there for me.
Truth: Family and friends are usually our greatest supporters, but bear in mind that they are grieving too, and may not always be the strongest “shoulder to lean on” for an extended period of time. It is wise to tap into a network of others who are going enduring a similar situation, and who can provide empathy and understanding, for example, a grief support group.
Please feel free to call any of our grief counselors for additional information on coping with grief, or for referrals to grief support programs in your area. Call us at 800-838-9800.
Myth #1: It takes two months to “get over” your grief.
Truth: It typically takes 2 months after the death of a loved one for the shock and numbness to subside, and for you to process the full impact of the loss. Society dictates we should move beyond our grief by the second month; but that typically just marks the beginning of the healing process.
Myth #2: It is better to put painful things out of your mind.
Truth: Avoidance is a coping skill, but serves only to temporarily delay the process. People need to feel their pain and cope with it, in order to truly begin to heal.
Myth #3: You feel scatted and out of control, so you must be.
Truth: Feeling out of sorts during grief is very normal. Your mind is trying to adjust to an unthinkable reality. Trust yourself and embrace the process of healing; but take your time.
Myth #4: The intensity and length of your grief is testimony to your love for the one you lost.
Truth: Everyone grieves differently, each in his or her own way. Give yourself permission to be who you are, even though you may not feel like yourself right now. Trust yourself and take your time. For example, just because you are someone who doesn’t cry, doesn’t mean you don’t deeply miss and mourn the person who died.
Myth #5: My family and friends will always be there for me.
Truth: Family and friends are usually our greatest supporters, but bear in mind that they are grieving too, and may not always be the strongest “shoulder to lean on” for an extended period of time. It is wise to tap into a network of others who are going enduring a similar situation, and who can provide empathy and understanding, for example, a grief support group.
Please feel free to call any of our grief counselors for additional information on coping with grief, or for referrals to grief support programs in your area. Call us at 800-838-9800.
Delaware Hospice is accredited by The Joint Commission.