Children given time to talk or just reflect

By DARA McBRIDE
The News Journal

After the loss of his wife to breast cancer in November, Dan Wipf said, the family was focused on getting through the school year.

"You have to learn to fill in the voids," Wipf said.

Besides being busy day-to-day, Wipf said, there weren't many programs offered for his teenage children to deal with their loss. But when summer came, Wipf remembered a program that offered his children time to reflect.

Delaware Hospice's 20th annual Camp New Hope at Lums Pond ran Tuesday through Friday for 48 participants from New Castle County. The free, four-day summer day camp is for children and teenagers, ages 6 to 17, coping with the death of a close family member. Nearly 1,500 children have attended the camp since it began.

Campers played sports and games and designed memory boxes to commemorate family members. At the closing ceremonies Friday, campers attended a memorial service and hung decorations on a newly planted tree. The program will run for Sussex County July 13-16 and for Kent County Aug. 3-6.

Camp New Hope Sussex County coordinator Lezley Sexton said the change she sees in campers is hard to explain. She said they are typically shy at first, but by the end of the first day are talking candidly with others about their loss.

Sexton said no camper is pushed to talk, but all are encouraged to at least try the first day.

Sexton said an important part of the camp was the combination of reflection and activities. The campers had quiet time, and time to learn hip hop and Hawaiian dancing, she said.

Camper Nick Priest, 6, could explain easily what Camp New Hope does.

"Camp New Hope tells me I don't have to be sad," said Priest, who recently lost his father to cancer. Nick made a memory box and was going to put his father's keys and photo inside.

Nick said he was greeted by cheers and high fives every time he got off the bus to come to camp.

"The bus everyday -- it's the best," Priest said.

Ellen Davies, a volunteer camp counselor for five years, said the expectation of the camp being a sad place is a misconception.

Davies said it has a "good energy." The pavilion and nearby trees were decorated with brightly colored streamers, cloth-flower leis, and green and blue tie-dyed shirts hung up to dry.

The Camp New Hope experience extends beyond the week, New Castle County camp coordinator and director Earline Vann said. Children are in connection with the Delaware Hospice for 13 months and all are visited beforehand so they know a friendly face before coming to camp. They also receive follow-up visits, Vann said.

Vann said the camp has been a wonderful opportunity in Delaware for the past 20 years.

"When they don't share their grief and fears as kids, they will have to deal with it as adults," Vann said.

Mark Schuler, 13, who lost his mother to breast cancer, said coming to the camp was a great experience because he had the chance to talk with other teenagers who understood his experiences.

"It was a little awkward at first," Mark said. "But we're all best friends now."

At camp, Mark made friends with Austin Wipf, 17, who came to camp with her brother Jake, 14, at her father's suggestion.

Austin said before Friday's closing memorial service she thought she had changed a "little bit" through what she learned at Camp New Hope: "Just knowing that I didn't have to be alone and keep my feelings in," Austin said.

Next year, Austin said, she plans to do what many Camp New Hope campers do -- return as a volunteer.