PRESS RELEASE: May 29, 2009 For Immediate Release

MEDIA CONTACT: Beverly Crowl, 302-547-1816 This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Delaware Hospice’s Lunch Bunch Lecture examined “How to manage guilt when mourning the loss of a loved one.

Dr. Judy Pierson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Bereavement Counselor for Delaware Hospice, was the keynote speaker on Friday, May 1st, at the Lunch Bunch Lecture Series at the Family Support Center in Milford. Thirty-five guests attended to learn about “How to manage guilt when mourning the loss of a loved one.”

The lecture offered reasons why many people feel guilty following a loss and suggestions for managing guilt. An individual writing exercise helped participants express guilt and as well as acceptance of the experience. An Education Resource List was provided for guidance to helpful publications.

Dr. Pierson offered many reasons for guilt following a loss depending on each unique situation:

•The patient and caregiver are under a great deal of stress which can cause tempers to flare.

•Most relationships aren’t perfect so there are always things we could have done better.

•Regrets are inevitable.

•Guilt may feel more tolerable than the knowledge that you couldn’t control what happened to your loved one.

•You might question complicated medical decisions and whether you should have done something sooner.

•You may wonder if you missed signs of a suicide or failed to act in some way that might have prevented a suicide.

•With a prolonged illness, you may feel relief when the person finally dies.

•Parents feel that they should always be able to protect their children.

•Guilt may be anger turned inward or back on the self.

•You may experience “survivor guilt” if you survived a situation that someone else did not.

To manage guilt, Dr. Pierson suggested some of the following:

•Acknowledge feelings of guilt.

•Understand it is a normal response to loss.

•Talk to others about how you are feeling.

•Accept that you are human.

•Forgive yourself. Ask yourself if this is how your loved one would want you to feel.

•Ask for forgiveness if you cannot forgive yourself.

•Write a letter to the deceased or “speak” with them about your regrets.

•If you truly believe you did something wrong, then find a way to atone for your mistakes by doing something positive.

•Keep your loved one’s memory alive.

•Look to find meaning or a purpose in your life.

•Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.

•Do not allow guilt to keep you from taking good care of yourself.

•Seek out spiritual resources that are meaningful to you.

•If your guilt doesn’t diminish with time (and give yourself plenty of time), seek counseling.

Organized by Delaware Hospice’s Family Support Center, the “Lunch Bunch” series is an outreach to support the needs of the community. The “Lunch Bunch” lecture series at the Delaware Hospice Center in Milford is held the first Friday of the month, from 12 to 1:30 pm, and is free and open to the public.

On Friday, June 5th, Dr. Pierson will present “Soothing and Caring for the Self,” including self care, meditation, and relaxation.

To register or learn more, call Vicki Costa, Associate Director of the Family Support Center, 302-856-7717, x1129 or write to her at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

About Delaware Hospice
Since 1982, Delaware Hospice has provided exceptional care and support to 30,000 patients and their families. Its mission is to help each patient, each day, live the fullest, most comfortable life possible. Delaware Hospice is the largest and only licensed, nonprofit, community-based hospice serving New Castle, Kent and Sussex counties in Delaware and southern Chester and Delaware counties in Pennsylvania. For more information about Delaware Hospice’s programs and services, upcoming events, or employment opportunities, call 800-838-9800 or visit our website, www.delawarehospice.org.